You should book another wedding photographer if...
First off this is a page all about why you should look for another wedding photographer and not bother emailing, texting, phoning, WhatsApping, Facebooking etc me.
It's here to help YOU find out that I"M not suitable for you or your wedding as the wedding photographer. It will save us both time.
I've been doing this long enough (17 years) to understand I can't please everyone so I don't even bother trying.
I'm not chasing after the money - I'm after amazing wedding couples who have an amazing sense of humour and value the hard work I put into helping them on their wedding day.
Unlike 99% of other websites, my website and especially this and this one (11 Reasons Not to Book Me) IS NOT A LEAD MAGNET THINGY. It's actively designed to get rid of people.
You want TRENDY!!!
You are looking for a wedding photographer who is an ultra-trendy 20-something and wears leather braces thingies for their Sony cameras. Oh, and if they identify as a female probably a cute hat on the back of the head and if they identify as a male they wear a flat cap affair. In other words, they are fashionable and on point.
In other words, that's not me. I'm an older 55-year-old grey-haired weak tea drinking Bon Jovi loving Jaffa Cake eating grumpy git with a ponytail when I'm not working and what can be described as a lion's mane when I'm at your wedding who only photographed about 1,000 weddings in the 33 years I've been a photographer.
I'm not on point, I'm not trendy and I use Fuji cameras 'cos they are cheaper and lighter and produce the exact same photographs that any other brand does.
YOU WANT MORE TRENDY!!!
You want a wedding photographer who does the trendy brown subdued tones that bear no resemblance to real-life/real skin tones / real colour or what your eyes see.
And will look like 100-year-old faded photos in a few years.
And you want this because you think having an ultra colourful boo-hoo type wedding in a field deserves to have all the colour washed out of the photographs.
Honestly, that's not me either.
I love the #truecolour of my photographs, with bright vibrant colours, shadows you can see into, skin that isn't orange and photos that will look amazing in 1 year, 10 years or 100 years.
(One of my images with the trendy look. I hate it. Don't even think about asking me to do it. If you book me and then think I'll edit like this afterwards prepare yourself for either paying another £500 or being told NO.)
YOU WANT 1,000,000,000% PASSION
You want a wedding photographer who was born with a camera coming out of the womb and who is so passionate about wedding photography they get on your nerves talking about it and how they developed film in the kitchen sink etc etc.
A bit tongue in cheek but honestly I'm sick to the back teeth of seeing stuff like this plastered on wedding photographers' websites. It's cliche done to death, resurrected and killed again. It's like a zombie - it never dies. Developing film is a very dangerous thing (been there, done that - I'm old enough you see) and I've yet to see any of the images they developed anyway so I always take it with a pinch of salt!
That's not me at all. Yes, I played with cameras as a kid. Didn't know what they were, what they did, how they worked. They just had buttons to press and they made "click" sounds when I pressed them. I was like 6 years old for god's sake, barely understood maths, let alone the advanced physics that cameras need to be used fully.
Don't get me wrong. I love photography (as my over 100 5* Google Reviews will show!) but it's a job that pays the bills at the end of the day; however, that job is a conduit to the passion I have for photography, especially wedding photography, that started about 33 years ago.
YOU WANT A USB AND WOODEN BOX WITH STRAW
You want a wedding photographer who will charge you £1900+ (other prices are available) for a 10 hour day and give you a USB and some "fine art" prints in a wooden box with a bit of straw.
Sorry I only give out full printed wedding albums, so if you want to pay £1700 and only get a few Glicee prints and a USB in a straw-filled small wooden box (straw and wood because it's trendy ;-) ) then fill ya boots. More money than sense as my grandad used to say.
BTW the USB that you will probably lose anyway (in a kitchen drawer if your house is anything like mine!)and the box will be repurposed for something else anyway.
You may frame the prints...but at 6" x 4" they are a wee bit small for anything other that a shelf unit.
* Glicee is a process that uses inkjets (like the one in your home) that is printed onto "fine art" paper (posh). Many of these papers will have a textured feel to them due to the process in which they are made. Have a look here at some of the papers that may be used. If you are going to print using this paper...print bigger to get the full effect. A 6"x4" is a waste of time and money.
You should book another wedding photographer if
YOU WANT TO PAY ££££££ EXTRA FOR A WEDDING ALBUM!
You are looking for a really cheap upfront wedding photographer who you can buy an album from after the wedding and that will probably cost as much as the wedding photography.
Be careful what you wish for. 90% of wedding photographers do this. e.g. Charge you £1500 for the wedding on a USB and then another £400+ for an album as an add-on and then maybe have to suffer a few emails about "now is the perfect time to get an album printed" as they try and make more money from you.
I can't be arsed with the faffing, the emails, the hard-selling, the emotional blackmail to make more money.
You get an album included in the price. INCLUDED. IN. THE. PRICE
YOU WANT A PART-TIME WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER
6. You want a wedding photographer who already has a full-time job and this photography lark is just to earn some extra cash.
Nothing wrong with part-time work (many of the people I coach and mentor are currently part-time, transitioning into full-time), but wedding photography is a full-on customer service-orientated emotionally charged business that can't be put off to another day.
Or perhaps the day off the wedding the photographer has booked for your wedding was taken back due to staff shortages?
So maybe ask the question ... "When will you be going full time with this?"
YOU WANT A Wedding Photographer who scrimps on the important stuff
7. You want a wedding photographer who uses a Gmail email address, a Wix type free website, hasn't updated social media or blogs in 3 years, doesn't have the legal GDPR / Cookie stuff on the website and you have no way of knowing how to contact them as you don't have a real address; just a mobile number and who sends you bank details for paying them via an email (Gmail...)
In other words, you want a wedding photographer who is doing this for a few bucks and is not running a business.
If they skimp on the simple stuff what else are they skimping on? Should the worst happen how do you contact them for refunds if you know nothing about them? And trust me that has happened plenty of times over the past 12 months.
You should book another wedding photographer if
YOu want a NINJA wedding photographer
8. You want a wedding photographer who will dress like a ninja, will lurk in the shadows and take the award-winning photos of you having a meltdown when your wedding dress/wedding suit doesn't fit and you are crying your eyes out, or make you really really late for your wedding service (and the inherent risk the registrars will walk away) because THEY want THERE shots; not for you ...but for them.
Crack on. Military trained, been there done that ate the chicken and got the t-shirt...but 'ninja' I'm not.
I'm an emotionally aware and emotionally intelligent guy that has an eye for detail and amazing wedding photographs, who is an expert in anticipative service (and honestly, if you other wedding photographers reading this don't know what that is maybe they need to look for another job) and who will drop the camera and help if you get emotional or the shit hits the fan.
Anyway, I bloody hate awards and competitions.
You want to wait months for your wedding photographs...
9. You want a wedding photographer who will make you wait longer than 3 weeks to get your edited wedding photographs...and charge you for publishing sneaky peeks the day after!
Not me then. I'm down to about 10 days or less for getting my weddings back to couples. The full-time job you see - no other pressures. Sneek peaks...I'm editing at your wedding (remember you are paying me to work) so start the process off on the day. What did you think I did during lockdown except work on my business process??!!
If you have to wait longer than 4 weeks ask why. And don't be put off by the "art takes time" / "hand edited" BS either.
You don't want a same-day slideshow
10. Because you would prefer your wedding photographer to chill out, feet up, eat the dinner you provided, drink the beer you bought and not do anything for a few hours.
Me? I back up to make sure I won't lose anything. Laptop. Two portable hard drives. I start the edits and have a quick rough and ready edit for the same day slideshow ready when you finish your wedding breakfast.
You're paying me to be there, to work. So I work.
And still have time to scoff a pizza (from the fantastic St Pierre Marriott Hotel & Country Club!) or wolf down the home made hand made packed lunch one of the mums made for me
You want a wishy-washy wedding photographer.
11. You want a wedding photographer who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery and will instead rely on shooting a "documentary" style to overcome this. Thousands of them around.
Not me. I make sure your day will run the way you want it. I coordinate with wedding coordinators, staff, etc., to get us all on the same page.
I LOVE group photos (give me a list) and I'll get them done with the least amount of fuss in the shortest possible amount of time. I'll sort out the secret stuff you want to do for each other, even coordinating with the venue to make sure it all works as well as parents for that extra special thing they wat to do for you :-)
That's what 33 years of experience in photography (in 12 years military) and 18 years of full-time experience get you.
You want to be dictated to how many family group photos you can have.
12. You are looking for a wedding photographer who is soooo passionate about their job they refuse to to take more than 10 family group photos...and that's after you push them really hard to do that many.
Really? Come on. They DO NOT take loads of time FFS. It takes some organising (see above) but why wouldn't you want to get your family and loved ones in photos at a wedding? Because weddings and funerals are what people make a real effort to get to - and photographing funerals isn't as much fun.
I INSIST on group and family photos. In fact, in the 18 years, I have only ever agreed to ONE wedding where no groups were taken.
You should book another wedding photographer if you like the Number 13
Number 13...unlucky for some!!
13. I'm missing this out because I'm superstitious
You don't want to read real reviews
14. How many websites have you visited where you get quotes from couples? Bloody hell, so easy to fake. Same with Facebook / Meta / Whatever-its-name-is-today.
Me? I prefer solid verifiable Google reviews. For every single one of those [currently] 113 reviews, I can point you to the wedding gallery. That's trust and has taken time to build up.
You want same-same wedding photos
15. You want a wedding photographer whose photos all look the same as everyone else's
Now, there are certain places at certain venues that make for THE wedding photograph. However, I'm talking about the same-same trendy wishy-washy washed-out dark-skinned (orange?!) brown-toned crushed blacks faded photos that have been trendy for about 5 years now.
No shadows, no vibrancy, no colour, no 'POP-OUT of the included wedding album page on a double-page metallic glossy finish' rather a dull washed-out photograph.
The same poses trotted out by every wedding photographer (I don't pose you by the way - I just want you looking like you and feeling ok with it).
You turn up to a wedding fayre dressed to nines as if you are just about to go out.
16. Ouch is what you are saying to that! Let me explain.
I want real normal down-to-earth all shapes, sizes, colours, creeds, orientation, genders and neurodiverse who are in love and want to get married. Look at my website. It's full of normal people with normal body sizes. Not stick thin / buffed up people who could easily model for a living (though I have done a few of those).
So if you turn up to a wedding fayre dressed like the above and wearing makeup for a night out and ALL you are doing is attending a wedding fayre; no lunch, no date day, no dinner date just a wedding fayre... it's a red flag for me.
I'm not interested in your physical looks. I don't care if you are drop-dead gorgeous (whatever that may look like) and model for a living. I don't care if you are an "influencer" with millions of hits/likes/hearts/comments on FB, YT, IG, TT etc. I just want normal people.
You should book another wedding photographer if ... this has upset you, annoyed you, pissed you off, or made you curse in anger at my candid thoughts. You are, obviously, not the kind of person I'm looking for.
But don't worry - there are tens of thousands of other wedding photographers to choose from.
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